Husar's Axioms...
Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means to turn problems into gold – your problems into their gold.
Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by 5 or 10.
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
The race is not always to the swift or the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.
If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there.
Most projects start out slowly – and then sort of taper off.
Help strikes again.
No matter what goes wrong, there will always be somebody who knew it would.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
There are three kinds of men. Those who learn by reading. Those who learn by observations. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Law of gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes) the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers
Law of Physical Surfaces: The chance of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.
Doctor’s Law: If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
Sometimes the best solution to a morale problem is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there’s no end to what you can’t do.
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you’re pretty much doomed.
There are no stupid questions; but here are a lot of inquisitive idiots
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
Never trade luck for skill.
You get what you inspect not expect.
No plan survives first contact with the enemy.
Live each day like it’s your last. One day you’ll get it right.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach that same person to use the Internet and he won’t bother you for weeks.
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Birds of a feather flock together and then shit on your car.
An expert is like a eunuch in a harem – someone who knows all about it but can’t do anything about it.
Anything worth doing is worth doing in excess.
Husar’s rule of Life: You have two chances, slim and none (and slim just left town).
Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.
A leader should not get too far in front of his troops or he will get shot in the ass
If it looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true.
Common sense and common knowledge are the two most uncommon things in the world.
If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no use in making fool of yourself.
Someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is then walks away with your watch.
The problem drinker is the one who never buys.
Husar’s Rule of Survival: Pack your own parachute.
If it works right the first time, you’ve obviously done something wrong.
Jesuit Principle. It is better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.
A fool and his money are welcomed everywhere.
Don’t try to solve all life’s problems at once – learn to dread each day as it comes.
A man can have more money than brains; but not for long.
If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class?
You’re only as old as you feel --- the next day.
30a: generative AI is the minigun of writing.
#39. The truest truism ever.