Thoughts...
h//t Steve for this one... Originally from HERE.
There’s something I was thinking about the other day that’s both sad and speaks to how resilient we men are.
And that is that nobody really teaches men how to do most of the things we end up doing anymore. You just end up doing them.
Something breaks. You figure it out.
Something needs to be built. You figure it out.
Something goes wrong. You figure it out.
Half the time you’ve never done it before.
No training. No instructions. Maybe a quick video.
Maybe a guess.
Maybe just standing there staring at it like “alright… let’s see what happens.”
And somehow you make it work.
It’s not always perfect. Often not pretty. But it works.
And that’s the part people don’t really think about. How what a lot of what men do every day is learned on the fly.
Our dads who used to be able to teach us have largely been removed from our lives so we have no choice but to learn by trial and error.
Mostly error at first. Then slowly… less error.
Until one day you’re the guy someone else comes to.
“Hey how do you fix this? Hey can you help with that?”
And now you’re giving advice on something you barely understood yourself not that long ago.
That’s how it often happens. You struggle through it then suddenly you’re the one people rely on.
And then it becomes and expectation. One that doesn’t stop.
Different problem same process. Figure it out.
Not “do you know how?” But “can you handle it?”
And most of the time the answer is yes, even if you don’t know it yet.
Because figuring it out is the skill.
Not having all the answers… Just being willing to take something on and work your way through it until it’s done. That’s the difference.
And most guys don’t even think twice about it… They just keep doing it over and over like it’s normal.
Because for us it is.
This was the way us old farts were raised. We didn’t live in a ‘disposable’ world, where you went out and bought new everytime something broke.
Your dad, or uncle, or grandfather took you out to the garage and taught you how to ‘fix’ the problem.
Today, that doesn’t happen nearly as much. Chatting with a friend my age from the show cars days, he mentioned he’s now retired, not by choice, with a transplant. His greatest joy is getting his son and grand into the garage to help him build a hotrod 32 Ford.
But how many parents today have time or a garage? Or the knowledge to fix something? Those who work in the service industry are probably the only ones...
Or how many kids want to learn? They’d rather play on their phones/computers than learn something that gets their hands dirty.
What say you???


Remember that we're in a time of immensely rapid technological change. It may seem like things have slowed down compared to the 1900s, but it hasn't really; it's the nature of what's changing that's changed. The things to be fixed and worked on have changed, too.
My grandfather had to figure out how to work on cars by himself because his dad didn't know - and grandfather wasn't needful of knowing how to shoe a horse like his father could.
I had to figure out how to get my first computer (a ZX-81) plugged in and working because my folks had no experience there. (And I never did get the $&\(36_* tape drive working...)
I don't think it's bad that we need to learn how to do new things. The important thing is, I think, understanding the process of figuring something out, and also learning to recognize when one is at the point of "ask, because this just isn't looking right!"
But then I guess I'm just feeling extra hopeful or something this morning. Dog asked to be let out at 5am rather than "Surprise!" So there is that. :-)
Us girls of a certain generation had to figure out how to do a lot of things, because mom often wasn't in the home, as she was working. Cooking, cleaning properly, fixing "around the house" type issue and becoming DIYers. I made sure all my kids new all the basics to do for themselves (I homeschooled them all), and they were shocked at all their friends who didn't know how to even wash their clothes or load and run the dishwasher, much less sew an entire Renn Faire outfit from scratch. The ability to "figure it out" is highly valuable in not feeling helpless when something doesn't work right in life.