8 Comments
User's avatar
Back Porch Writer's avatar

Who says you have to deport felons back to their country of origin? 🤷‍♂️ Ukraine, Uganda, Antartica? All those places sound good for felons. I'm sure Ukraine would find a use for this guy. 😈

AJ Decker's avatar

I'm willing to chip in towards fueling helicopter flights to send them back. (Well, half a flight anyway, so long as it is on Pinochet Air!)

Angry Jumpmaster's avatar

Here is my second strike for funding long term internment for illegal aliens. If the country of origin gets economic aid from the USA, deduct the cost of arrest, trials, and internments of “their” people from aid benefits to the country. “Well, we were going to give you 350 million for bi/lez/queer/trans studies, but that is exactly the cost of taking care of your citizens here illegally. Thank you, come again.”

it's just Boris's avatar

So I'll ask "that" question. Why is this person still alive?

Dale Flowers's avatar

Uh-h...maybe he didn't resist arrest hard enough. Anecdotally, I have heard it can take up to 6-7 Taser hits. I dunno, what's so hard about making Taser probes as big as SMLE rifle bayonets? https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a8/Bayonet%2C_knife-sword_%28and_scabbard%29_%28AM_697056-1%29.jpg/1280px-Bayonet%2C_knife-sword_%28and_scabbard%29_%28AM_697056-1%29.jpg

Angry Jumpmaster's avatar

Send them all to Guantanamo and let the serve out time for the crime, then drop them off back home. Maybe we can use a prison in Argentina or El Salvador to “warehouse” frequent flyers? Oh yeah, defund every NGO until they can prove where each cent is going… I’ve thought this out!

Dale Flowers's avatar

Spot on, Mr. Jumpmaster. I've thought about this too. Many of the NGO's who have been greasing the skids of illegal immigrations are funded by tax dollars. That is an easy fix. Gitmo has plenty of room, tent city prisons are cheap to build. Put Joe Arpaio in charge. Gitmo has a nice climate...all they'd need is pink underwear and mosquito repellent. There is also Johnson Island in the Pacific that'd make a mighty secure prison. We could also hire countries to "hold" illegals for several years while 2 or 3 GS-5's in West Virginia "do" their paperwork to get them repatriated to their home countries. Niue, Turkmenistan, Burkina Faso come to mind. Bet they would do it for $2-3 a day. That might sound like a lot of money for 10-20,000,000 illegals, but do the math. It'd be a bargain. Most would self-deport if they knew they were going to Burkina Faso anyway. Seriously, have you thought of sending your idea to DOGE, or Mr. Holman? Alternatively, maybe you and AJ Decker can put your heads together. Am sure he'd welcome your expertise. There might be an NGO in it for you two that'd pay a modest salary and per diem.

Dale Flowers's avatar

"Now, if I could just get all the body parts cooperating again... sigh" Sigh no more, NFO. I think the secret is good nutrition. But it has to taste good and be done in moderation. I can make a flat of Wynn-Dixie cinnamon rolls or a sixer of Krispy Creme donuts last 3-4 days. My wife only buys them 2-3 times a month. It gives me a reason to live. Gives me some deniability, too. Done in moderation, it hardly affects your A1C test. My body parts respond well to incentives and positive reinforcement. But I exercise too. Everything comes with a price. Ask Dorian Gray.